So What Wednesday.

I’m linking up once again with Shannon from Life at I Dew for another
So What Wednesday.

So what if…

-I put the toddler to bed early tonight.  Kiddo  was out of his mind he was so overtired.  Sprinting through the kitchen, then crying hanging on my leg. 
-I just heard H woke up and did a silent prayer to myself that he falls back asleep.
-I only clean my car out if I know someone other than my husband will be riding in it, (and only then does ‘cleaning’ entail brushing the goldfish cracker crumbs off the seats.
-I always leave the bath toys at the bottom of the tub for my poor husband to clean up, almost every time.
-Everything in my house has some sort of leveler under it.  Gotta love a 100 year old house with crooked floors.
-If that also means that if you position yourself correctly you almost always end up winning that game of pickup hockey in the kitchen.
-I can’t say no to projects at work, and am becoming slowly frazzled by the deadlines looming over my head.
- I skim, then pass over the last WAHM VS. SAHM VS.Working mom post.  Parts of me have been so conflicted lately that reading another will send me over the edge.  As a guilty party myself, I need to gather my thoughts before I post again about it.
- I let my voicemails sit for weeks at a time. 
- Don’t immediately (if even) respond to texts within the same day.
- I am loving my husband now having his first ‘smartphone’.  BBMing has never been so fun!

Thanks for reading, and link up with us for So What Wednesday.

Ashley

Saturday. Morning. Scene.

I'm a bit sad about my Saturday Morning Scene today.  Katie from Loves of Life is not doing a linky party this weekend, however I decided to post my scene anyways, due to my need to vent.

Yesterday, my hand-me-down dishwasher finally died.

I mourned it a bit more than I expected.  I hate doing dishes by hand.

This dishwasher failure has made me grumpy, verrrrryyy grumpy........with the Husbo off doing all these side jobs it's going to be down to me to do all the wash.   Yuck.  (Lets be honest I can't remember the last time He did the dishes anyways)


In the meantime I'm scouring Craigslist and Lowes to find a dishwasher that will make do, and won't break the bank.




In the process of sorting through Craigslist ads I ended up having a conversation with a... ummmm........    unique  pleasant individual. 

In our 5 minute conversation this woman must have yawned, I kid you not, 15 times.   Now, I apologized for waking her (at 9 am), yet she responded that she's been up since 7.  

It was just one of those conversations/moments where I questioned what I was getting myself into, and if I was in fact going to be a dreaded No-Show because I didn't want to go to this persons home.

I'm risking it, a free dishwasher is worth it.

It's that time again.

Yup.   It's that time.   

Time to continue renovations.  

UGhhhhhhh.

We had put a major pause on fixing up our house with major projects after the baby was born.  We just figured that after two years of major construction, ALL THE TIME, that we'd give ourselves and the baby a break for a little bit.  

We just barely finished the babies room and did a temporary fix on our spare room upstairs before Harrison was born.  Now I'm getting the itch to get upstairs, DONE.  Like 100 % totally and complementary done.  

We did a temporary fix with carpet that was being removed from my in laws.   In retrospect, who does that?   Who takes used carpet......... oh us.  We do.  The disgusting ones over here.   To give us some credit it was in good shape, in fact, it was refreshing to have one space of our house carpeted.

Please note the disgusting state of the floors.  

Can't believe I'm showing everyone the state of our house.  To our credit this is our messy room.  It has tons of scrap fabric pieces due to the fact that it was my old 'studio/craft space', and that I'm too lazy to vacuum   

So this spare room is a joke of a spare room.  It has become the animals bedroom, which I find gross.  I'm sick of layers of cat hair on the bed where I'm supposed to invite guests to stay, it's embarrassing quite frankly.

Our Mega Sized Cat Bed.   

Carpet + No Baseboard = Superb Craftsmanship

When we first moved it it was a massive closet for me.  It was incredible, but it wasn't heated that first winter.  Talk about freezing your ass off after a shower in the dead of a New England weather, brrrrr. 

Brand spankin new windows, and HEAT.

  Hallelujah HEAT!   We used to have those old guillotine windows which were a nightmare, and clearly had no baseboard heat before.

It took a lot of work, and a lot of money to get the other three rooms to a point of where we're happy with them and now is time for the finishing touches on this room.

 

We have a lovely shared closet between the nursery and the spare room.  I swear, people who built houses a hundred years ago did not believe in closets.  We had to build our only modern closet into our Master Bedroom.  I also use the term 'Master' lightly.

 Lastly, the space between the two rooms.  Baby, and Spare.  This shows the old flooring that was underneath.  The new flooring that will be going into the spare room, and the stunning green carpet that will be going curbside. 

 Very. 

Very. 

Soon.

Now all I need to do is get hubby motivated this weekend to actually begin and we'll be one step closer to being done.  Thank the renovation gods.

My Goodwill Love Affair

I hit it good at the thrift store yesterday.

I love thrift shopping, it's something I've been doing since childhood.


This week I splurged a bit, meaning I spent more than 30 dollars there, which is a rarity for me.

It's my birthday in September, so 'splurging' at the thrift store has become kind of a birthday right of passage for me.  I have to show off some of my goodies.  Now keep in mind I had a toddler with me on a very short fuse, so it was a short lived shopping trip.  He was literally shouting in the changing room because he figured out how to create an echo.  Very entertaining for him, mind numbing for me.




So right as I enter I always hit the shoe section first as those are easiest to go through, and honestly I get anxious that someone else it going to snatch up my great find.

I found three pairs of keepers this trip.

One for the baby, and two for myself.            Momma loves her shoes...

 A great little pair of Stride Rites!  Yayyyy... Perfect for Harrison to grow into, and at only 2.99, affordable!

Also, meandered over to baby clothing, I don't go there a lot because H has tons and tons of hand-me-downs and doesn't need one more article of clothing, but I often find great jackets there.

 Point in case, Baby gap jean jacket.   How cute for fall.  1.99   Heck yes.

Now for me.  I snatched up two pairs of flats.  One black, one shiny sliver.  Perfect for teaching, I can't wear any heels anymore in my classroom.  Not only am I getting old, but I'm sick of getting paint on them. 

 (Lets be honest, my feet ache at the end of a day  I'm. Getting. Old.)

At about 4.99 each, I sucked it up and got these. These are to replace my other pair of trusty black flats, don't know about  you guys but mine get nasty, due to not wearing socks.  Yuck.

I then wandered on over to the clothing area, and scored myself a pair of skinny blue jeans (not pictured because they were worn asap), black skinny jeans, black dress pants, and beige dress pants.  All for 2.50 each.  Boo ya.  I love myself the half off color days, I only look for the half off color tags when I go through the aisle.  Also, a green and red spotted button up shirt.   It's a bit funky, husband just cringes when looking at it.

Lastly, my FULL price item.  A whopping 9.99 for a dress.  Something I ordinarily do NOT do.  But, like I said it is my birthday coming up, plus I have a fall wedding to go to the day after my birthday, and figured the color was perfect.  Brand new with tags, another big Boo Yah!

Also Has some pretty lace neck detail.  Don't mind my unbrushed hippy hair.

Brand new with tags, best kind of thrift store find.

So in doing this post, I was clearly bragging about my finds, how I was so excited I found so many awesome steals and wanted to show it off.  Well Karma got me.

You know those amazing shoes I was talking about for my son.  In the process of taking pictures of them I noticed something a little funny.

Not only are they TWO different sizes, but they are BOTH right foot shoes.  Sighhhhh.....


At least they were only three bucks.

Bad Mommy Week

This has been my worst week as a Mom, Ever.

I wanted to yell at my kid.

He's only 14 months.


What the Hell is wrong with me.




Harrison is my love, my life, but there are times when he becomes the bane of my existence.   Ok, I'm being dramatic but he's become a fussy baby as of late, pulling on my shorts, whining, or throwing a tantrum if not picked up.   He also does hardcore tantrums as well, where he cries so hard that he turns blue, and passes out.   Every time this happens I end up crying myself with my now exhausted toddler on my shoulder whimpering.

As I type this post my son runs up to me just to give me a kiss.   Ahhhh the guilt!

This week has been out of the ordinary, the husband has been gone a lot, making me a SAHM.
Making me realize I have no desire to be at home all day long all year long.  I just couldn't do it if I wanted to stay sane.

Which also makes me realize I have an amazing job.  I'm home just long enough in the summer time, school vacations, snow days, etc... to get glimpses of stay at home mommyhood, with just enough time at work to get me out of the house.

Going into my fifth year teaching art means that I'm finally starting to get a hang of my job.   Well maybe not the hang of things....... I've gotten better at getting things done more efficiently.  So that I can leave my job and be 'done' for the day at 2:50 to go pick up my wild man.


But....

Sometimes I find myself deep in the sucky trenches that motherhood can be at times and I have to realize that this too shall pass.     That I need to Take a moment, take a breath, and  take a step away to relax.

I was in shock and bewilderment the other day at the park.  I was chasing my son around with my mother, double teaming him on the equipment when I started paying attention to all the other mothers at the park with a child about the same age as mine.    The majority of them were all quite visibly pregnant.

All I could think was no F... ing way.   NO WAY!
Then, I think about my mother who was getting pregnant right now with my younger brother.
 (and also remember the part of the story where she starting crying when she found out she was pregnant).

Don't get me wrong, I want another.

I crave this, the itty bittyness of a small smushy baby. 

Just not until I drag myself out of this trench.

Balance and the Internet.

I feel as if the two don't go together.   Or perhaps motherhood and the internet 

I have become a passing blogger, and 'tweeter?'...

It comes in Phases, most often when my son allows it, where I can go on the computer for a prolonged period of time to type something up that has some kind of meaning.

 I feel as if twitter must have been created just for moms, who only have a small passing moment to post something.
   Where no one really cares if it makes sense.

Which leads to the fact that I've had a lot on my plate lately. 

A husband who is doing lots of side work ... which equals me being a stay at home mommy...

A son who has decided he wants to push me to my wits end, each and every day...

An alternative craft fair I'm taking part of in November...

My home which we've decided to continue renovating...and so it begins, living in a construction zone. AGAIN.

Me thinking it was a good idea to do 'limited internet' through Verizon  (via tablet trying to save a buck) versus unlimited, which has made me watch how much time I spend on the internet.  Ughhh... BAD decision.

Anddd.......My desire to be outside enjoying every moment of this gorgeous weather.

           I think I need to take a moment to define my form of  "Enjoying" has become since child.

                Enjoying the outdoors with a one year old 

 Not allowing my son to pick up or eat gross objects including:

         Dog poop

         Dead crickets

        Dead animal gifts from my cats

         Rocks, sand, grass, enter any various object here that can fit in a mouth.

Chasing said child around yard with magazine in hand, my new form of lounging around in the yard.

Setting up and breaking down his backyard each day with the ridiculous amounts of toys necessary to keep him occupied for maybe 10 minutes.

Lathering him, and ultimately myself with 10000 spf in waterproof lotion so we're both slippery all day.

Which leads back to chasing said child around, the lotion only makes things more 'fun'.

Emptying, washing, and refilling water table/pool, and dealing with all the lovely bugs that accumulate.

Trying to include some form of a nape so I can sit on my butt for more than two minutes.

Am I missing anything mommies?

Now, the hubby has the baby in a fluke moment this week so I'm going to continue to lay on my porch with Sex and the City reruns on tv... A Cold beverage next to me...

  All the while looking forward to a work meeting tonight to just get away and enjoy a Margarita without having to worry if my kid is throwing food at the next table.

Sleep Sleep Sleep, apparently that's all I blog about....

I know sleep comes and goes throughout motherhood.

But DEAR GOD, when will I get it again!!!!!

Clearly I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown due to my sons lack of consistent sleep.  Is it crazy of me to think that perhaps my 13 month old son might start sleeping through the night??  Is that a totally off the wall thought.

I feel terrible, I feel horrible, but most of all.....I feel jealous of all those other moms out there who have a great sleeper.

Just last night, he fell asleep at 6:45 for the night,...... in parts because he didn't have a good afternoon nap, it was a car nap that lasted 20 minutes if that.

(Which in looking back, my lack of consistency with nap time may be a big big factor in all these sleep issues)

He then woke at least three times before 10 with stirring.

Fast forward to Hubby and I being asleep in bed.

We brought Harrison in bed with us because it was soooo hot out.  AC is in our room only so he slept between us.

He woke another two times from 11 to 3 in the morning.  I, being too lazy, decided it was just 'easier' to put a water filled bottle in his mouth.  He falls right back asleep with that.

I'm just prolonging bottles, and making it harder for myself later.  I know.   But, I want sleep now.

So.... the Hubby gets up for work and sure enough the baby gets up too.  At 5:30 am.

What. Is. Going. On.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh......

So my baby boy that was on the verge of sleeping through the night only two or so months ago has now regressed to newborn stage.



I

Need

Coffee.

Losing my Patience..

Big mom fail.

H after the three hour long nap he took...

I've been losing my patience lately with my son.

Like walk away lose my patience because he's absolutely driving me up a wall.

This makes me feel like crap.   I'm home all summer long with him, I'm so lucky to have an opportunity and a career like this that allows me to spend so much time with him.

Hmmm... maybe that was a sign

Even at this very moment he's pulling on my arm and crying even though he's fed, changed, and has a gazillion toys to play with.

He's finally become a wicked Mommas boy.  Like to the point of drive Momma batty he's so clingy.

That maybe he wasn't feeling good?

I get what I ask for, I cuddle him to sleep, I go the second he cries at night (much to the displeasure of my husband, and against my pediatrician).  I enabled this little boy to become so attached so why am I losing it when he wants to hang on me?

This week has been a tough one, parenting wise.  Harrison has decided lately that he was going to change any and all routines that we may have had.  He's waking up at  5:15 for the day, then takes a nap at 6:45-7:00 and I am beyond getting back to sleep.  I guess I'm just exhausted, I'm trying to run errands day after day, which is so hard with a one year old that doesn't listen, and is in a screaming phase.  For example, going to the DMV resulted in me having to hold my kid by his armpits while they took my license picture, so he wouldn't run way.

Times like these give me a  new found respect for single parents.  How do they do it?  I can't even imagine the way they feel.

  So I suppose parts of me are frustrated based on lack of sleep, and the fact that my one year old son thinks it's still necessary to do multiple wake ups during the night.

Sighh...

Then I finally realized on Monday, (that things are not all about meeeee, me, me... you think I'd know this by now)  after a day of hell that maybe there was cause for this behavior, like maybe my son might be in some pain?

Duh.....

Mega mom fail.




He has twelve thousand sharp little razors trying to break through his gums, and I'm over here losing it because I think he's just being grumpy.

And all is well after a little bit of Oragel.

And a closing thought.   If I want to keep all my fingertips in tact, I need to go back to the Oragel sticks.

Baby and sleep... Apparently the only two things on my mind.

I don't get it.


I JUST don't GET it.

Harrison, if you are that tired why don't you continue to sleep through the morning?

Why do you insist upon waking up at 5:15, when Momma decides to drag you into bed, pretend like you're going to sleep for 45 minutes, then pop your head up ready to go for the day?

But, not only that.   After twenty minutes awake you're ready for a nap and Mommy is up for the day.

I was never one of those people that could 'sleep when the baby sleeps'.   I can't nap.  It drives me Crazy.

So now my beautiful son lies next to me on the couch while I type away and he snoozes.

I am beyond jealous.

I wonder what a full night of sleep, or uninterrupted sleep feels like.  I haven't slept for two years, sighhhh.
At least H does a bit better than his cousin.   My SIL is up 4-5 times a night with her one year old, talk about exhausted, I can't complain.

Now as i typed this post my son decided that the ten minute nap he took was sufficient for this morning.

He needs routine, I need to become more disciplined as a mother to enforce a routine, I think it would benefit all of us.

Perhaps this would've been best done months ago, and my 'free spirit' mentality of mommyhood has kicked me in the ass.