Tuesday, January 3, 2012

To be a working mom.

I was a bitch.

Yes, I said it.   I was a "b-word" to my day care provider.
(I curse IRL, it just feels so harsh to do it in blogging form)

 I'm having a hard time balancing mom commitments, work commitments, and those of my daycare provider.   That's what happens when you choose to use In-home care.

My provider is a relative of a relative on my husbands side, so she's 'family'.  I love her, I really do.  She cares for my child well, her family loves him, and I do not doubt that she makes sure all his needs are met.

I'm just having a hard time dealing with her inability to be consistent.  This is her job, I expect her to be able to do it.

See, this is where I start to get grumpy.   I'm just tired of early pick ups, last minute cancellations, and last minute drop off's because of her kids games.

I got a text last night at 8:30 pm.
Yes, a text, she doesn't call for some reason.  I wish she would.

The text let me know that she wouldn't be able to care for H the next day.
I only looked at my phone at 10:00.

So at 10:00 pm, I'm left with no care for the next day.   As a teacher, it is a big No-No to not come to school the day after a vacation.

This comes on top of my sitter telling me (on the same day as our 8:30 text) that she wouldn't be able to watch H until 10 am this Friday.

In the end it all worked out thanks to my fabulous MIL.   But it still left me with a sour taste in my mouth.
 (and a guilt inducing reply text from me that mentioned my"'scrambling for care for this morning and Friday"... I regret that.   It was done in anger and frustration.  Hence me being a 'b-word')

To stay in a place where I know my child is loved, and cared for but is not always the most reliable?
Or go to a center where I know they will always be open, have longer hours, but my child will be with a rotating set of care givers.

So I sit here with a list of pros and cons, with a decision I thought I'd never question.

Working and being a mom breaks me.


Heather said...

As another working mom - I can totally relate. I feel your frustration and pain. Even after 10 years - relying on someone to care for my kids still breaks me.


Kate said...

I too can relate. I think it is harder when kiddos are younger. I'm hoping that once my Monster starts preschool I won't feel like taffy being pulled everyday.

Ashley said...

I love the term monster, as my little man has started to act like one when we get home from daycare. Glad to hear someone else feels the same way.

Ashley said...

Heather, Thank you so much for sharing. I hope in time the sting will be less.