Well, it's been a while.

I'm one of those bloggers that is writing about the fact that I haven't written for a while.  

Typical.

It was hard rolling back into the transition of work and mommyhood.  I'm cashing in on nap time to catch up on the blogging world.   I was going back and forth in my mind whether or not I wanted to continue this venture in blogging, and to tell you the truth, I loved it this summer.

Creating and writing, posting, and networking.

Time management, spending time with my wild man Harrison, husband, and being in my very first Craft Fair, took all my time this fall.   As time went on the space got further and further from when I last posted so heres to a fresh year, and a fresh new start on my blog.


RECAP of September, October, November, and December...

- Had yet another birthday.... 26 years old.
- Started another school year, as the Crazy art teacher.
- Harrison transitioned wonderfully into being back at day care.
- Went to the fair with H, and he loved chasing all the animals around petting them.

- Also tried giving kisses to random little girls in the petting zoo.
- Went apple picking with daddy and mommy.  H was a blast, was able to pick his own apples and the whole experience got me excited for what we are able to do as a family now that he's getting a bit older.

 






October

-Trick or treating with my little Monkey.

- Had a crazy snowstorm where we took H-man out in his snowsuit to enjoy the fresh flakes

Note that since then it has not snowed again.

- Started panicking about the fact that I hadn't done enough for my first craft fair and set up shop in my basement creating away!

 November
- Participated in my first Alternative Craft Fair.  Deemed, Not your Grandma's Craft Fair.

Had a blast and met lots of new friends, and artisans.

December
- As a result of the Craft Fair made a couple more Etsy sales.  
-Involved lots of planning and shopping for gifts.  Created and dabbled in some homemade gifts including skittles vodka and homemade crayons.
-Sent out our Christmas card with this picture that I have fallen in love with, and since have overused all over my home.

- Celebrated my husbands Christmas Birthday turned 26.  Yes, I nabbed myself a younger man.
- Had a round of sickness on our Christmas break.  Started with H-man, moved on to me, back to H-man, then on to the husband. (and the cat and dog, gross).


So here's to a new year, with a fresh rejuvenation and commitment to writing this blog.

Bad Mommy Week

This has been my worst week as a Mom, Ever.

I wanted to yell at my kid.

He's only 14 months.


What the Hell is wrong with me.




Harrison is my love, my life, but there are times when he becomes the bane of my existence.   Ok, I'm being dramatic but he's become a fussy baby as of late, pulling on my shorts, whining, or throwing a tantrum if not picked up.   He also does hardcore tantrums as well, where he cries so hard that he turns blue, and passes out.   Every time this happens I end up crying myself with my now exhausted toddler on my shoulder whimpering.

As I type this post my son runs up to me just to give me a kiss.   Ahhhh the guilt!

This week has been out of the ordinary, the husband has been gone a lot, making me a SAHM.
Making me realize I have no desire to be at home all day long all year long.  I just couldn't do it if I wanted to stay sane.

Which also makes me realize I have an amazing job.  I'm home just long enough in the summer time, school vacations, snow days, etc... to get glimpses of stay at home mommyhood, with just enough time at work to get me out of the house.

Going into my fifth year teaching art means that I'm finally starting to get a hang of my job.   Well maybe not the hang of things....... I've gotten better at getting things done more efficiently.  So that I can leave my job and be 'done' for the day at 2:50 to go pick up my wild man.


But....

Sometimes I find myself deep in the sucky trenches that motherhood can be at times and I have to realize that this too shall pass.     That I need to Take a moment, take a breath, and  take a step away to relax.

I was in shock and bewilderment the other day at the park.  I was chasing my son around with my mother, double teaming him on the equipment when I started paying attention to all the other mothers at the park with a child about the same age as mine.    The majority of them were all quite visibly pregnant.

All I could think was no F... ing way.   NO WAY!
Then, I think about my mother who was getting pregnant right now with my younger brother.
 (and also remember the part of the story where she starting crying when she found out she was pregnant).

Don't get me wrong, I want another.

I crave this, the itty bittyness of a small smushy baby. 

Just not until I drag myself out of this trench.

Beach Day with a Toddler...

Harrison and I went out with some friends yesterday to the lake.

We had a blast!   Even with nap times a bit off, and rain showers at the end of the day... my little man still did amazing.

Now of course, I relied on a couple of things to ensure that this day would go smoothly.

First off,  I packed my essentials.

-Around 12 bottles/sippy cups to ensure variety, and that when one drops in the sand I have another available immediately.

- "The Cage"  this thing has become a mind saver.  If you follow me on Twitter you might have seen a couple of picture posts involving me inside of said 'cage' with my son.  It makes him happy, which makes me happy.
     Plus, sitting inside of it with him takes some of the mommy guilt away.  Part of me feels bad I use it the other part says ... Hallelujah!!!

-  Radio Flyer wagon.  This was a baby shower gift that I've now put to lots of use.  PERFECT for dragging sheets, chair, cooler, and Heck... yes ... BABY all down to the beach.      (Wish I had gotten a picture of that.  Harrison piled in with all our beach junk)

- Snacks, Snacks, and more Snacks... because of course he doesn't want anything I've brought, he wants everything your friends have.  Thank goodness for generous mommy friends who understand.

- Cloth diapers.   Now, I went on a little cloth diaper break, and I've gotten back into them since I've been home.   They've been amazing, and work 12,982 times better than those stupid swim diapers that they just pee right through anyways.  The cloths.... termed affectionately 'clothies' by me.... slide perfect under a swimsuit and hold pee a bit better... and much better if I use the plastic liner.



So if I put all these together correctly, and the hour on the clock hits that magic spot...

I get a sleeping baby in the shade in his amazing "baby  cage"  (I need a better name for my trusted friend, a more affectionate term...)  and I get a very happy mommy on the beach getting to flip through a beach classic, Cosmo.

Thanks Cosmo for the 50 Sex Tips...
   That is now a section I pass through with little to lets be honest, No interest.  Sorry Cosmo...

Ahhhhhh..... A relaxed..... Mommy.   Brings me back to the days where I was able to read a full page only once.
Not three times over.... and still having no idea what I just read because I was interrupted 20 times by a toddler eating sand, rocks, bugs, or yanking at my magazine wanting to eat that.



So relaxing time quickly came to an end when the thunder rolled on in.
Packed the baby up.

Gave him a container I was bringing back to Wallyworld, one of those cylinders with the powdered sugar flavor packets inside, because I figured the rattling noise would entertain him.

It did.

Surprisingly so.

Almost half way into the car ride I smell this super sweet smell.

SHIT.

Pull over to discover this ...  ..  little cutie.

He and his carseat was covered with the red powder.  He looked like the joker.

Worst part about it I had promised hubby I would stop into the store to pick up dinner.

.... Definitely had to bring him in looking like that, baby wipes only went so far.

Just another day in the life with an active toddler, and a spacey mommy.

Well I guess I know what Foot and Mouth is now...

Well...

There was a reason for all the crabbiness.

Harrison and I were hanging out all Friday afternoon, he was a bit fussy again, I attributed it to those damn teeth.

We ran an errand to Walmart, he was his chipper self, flirting with all the Walmart Folk... sigh...
   Got home, and he was kind of weird, not really himself.

Super tired, and actually just kind of laid his head on the couch and fell asleep.  Super unusual for my little guy.

I scooped him up and cuddled with him on the couch.  
Lucky for me I had just bought a 'fancy new' thermometer that you hold to the babies temple.
    It was a random purchase for me at Walmart.   Perhaps 'Motherly Instinct"?   Ha..

Decided to try it out because heck, my kid was pretty freaking hot, and was sweating all over me.

Put it on his forehead...

Waited for the little beeps...

....
....
....

104.2    What the F***

Panic ensues, try it one more time...

Waiting for the beeps....

.....
.....
.....

105.1  Holy hell!

Never have I seen a temperature that high on him since his birth.

So I proceed to panic of course, and being by myself waiting for my husband to come home I of course, call my own mommy.

In a panicked state, crying.

Now, I've read enough books to know what I'm supposed to do when a temp gets this high, but all the sudden my son was becoming lethargic, head on my shoulder, limp arms and legs.

In between my call to my mother, and my kids doctor my sweet baby boy lifts his sweaty head up from my shoulder, looks me in the eyes, and gives me a kiss.

My sweet baby...

So my mother decided she was booking it over, and I start stripping the little man down and start a cool bath.
We climb in and he is NOT happy.   Crying, upset, totally pissed off at me.

So... Start trying to push kids Advil down his throat as the doctors office suggested.   That was a nightmare, from the kiddo who usually takes medicine willingly, I literally had to hold him down, pry his mouth open, and shove that stupid little dropper in his mouth.

Mother shows up as I have him in front of the A.C. with me, his poor little legs starting to get goosebumps, she swoops him up in a big hug.  My poor little boy looks so young again.  Cuddle him for about an hour, recap what the hell happened in an hours time.  He was completely normal, minus the teething crabbiness, all day long.

Sure enough, my little guy starts becoming more aware, and is ready to go once that medicine kicks in.

My mommy panic moment is finally subsiding, and I'm starting to chill.

Great, .... I'm the 25 year old woman who still calls her mommy crying.
     Ughhh.




All in all I took the H-man to the doctors on Saturday because Friday night was hell here.  Turns out he has Foot and Mouth, with little ulcers on the back of his throat.  No wonder the kid wouldn't eat or drink, the doctor specifically showed me the little things, and I cringed thinking I'd be quite the baby too if they were in the back of my throat.

Foot and mouth is basically caused from the fact that like typical one year olds do, they put gross objects in their mouths,   ALL.....   OF .... THE..... TIME....

So rounds of Advil, and Tylenol the past couple days and finally this morning Harrison has woken up himself, and is currently running like a crazy man around the house banging, playing, and torturing the cats.

That's my little boy.

Losing my Patience..

Big mom fail.

H after the three hour long nap he took...

I've been losing my patience lately with my son.

Like walk away lose my patience because he's absolutely driving me up a wall.

This makes me feel like crap.   I'm home all summer long with him, I'm so lucky to have an opportunity and a career like this that allows me to spend so much time with him.

Hmmm... maybe that was a sign

Even at this very moment he's pulling on my arm and crying even though he's fed, changed, and has a gazillion toys to play with.

He's finally become a wicked Mommas boy.  Like to the point of drive Momma batty he's so clingy.

That maybe he wasn't feeling good?

I get what I ask for, I cuddle him to sleep, I go the second he cries at night (much to the displeasure of my husband, and against my pediatrician).  I enabled this little boy to become so attached so why am I losing it when he wants to hang on me?

This week has been a tough one, parenting wise.  Harrison has decided lately that he was going to change any and all routines that we may have had.  He's waking up at  5:15 for the day, then takes a nap at 6:45-7:00 and I am beyond getting back to sleep.  I guess I'm just exhausted, I'm trying to run errands day after day, which is so hard with a one year old that doesn't listen, and is in a screaming phase.  For example, going to the DMV resulted in me having to hold my kid by his armpits while they took my license picture, so he wouldn't run way.

Times like these give me a  new found respect for single parents.  How do they do it?  I can't even imagine the way they feel.

  So I suppose parts of me are frustrated based on lack of sleep, and the fact that my one year old son thinks it's still necessary to do multiple wake ups during the night.

Sighh...

Then I finally realized on Monday, (that things are not all about meeeee, me, me... you think I'd know this by now)  after a day of hell that maybe there was cause for this behavior, like maybe my son might be in some pain?

Duh.....

Mega mom fail.




He has twelve thousand sharp little razors trying to break through his gums, and I'm over here losing it because I think he's just being grumpy.

And all is well after a little bit of Oragel.

And a closing thought.   If I want to keep all my fingertips in tact, I need to go back to the Oragel sticks.